I need help removing her.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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