I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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