all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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