oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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