just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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