And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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