I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
