the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
