I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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