I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
