at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I died a long time ago.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
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