New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
