And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
