Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
