people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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