so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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