I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I understand Curling. That high.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize