Got a toothbrush?
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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