4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize