Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
