He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
