When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
