yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
