hotel room ftw
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
