You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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