Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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