Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
