I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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