I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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