Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
