I'd wear matching sweaters with you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
