Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
