billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
