Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
