East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize