Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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