I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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