Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
