just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
