rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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