Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
