She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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