Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
