hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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