This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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