doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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