I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
