i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
