how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
