i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
