Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
